A sectioned list of personal political statements. Also, jokes. Or, how I learned to stop loving the bomb.

List Part I: An Introduction.

• I am the bomb. Woop woop.
• That might have been a joke.
• It is not.
• However, I am not the walrus.
• Coo coo ka choo.
• I am the eggman.
• That is a lie.
• I am TWO eggmen.

List Part II: Who I Have Voted For, and War.

• I have identified as Republican for as long as I can remember. This has recently changed.
• I voted Dubya twice, and I don't regret it.
• I would not vote for Dubya again
  
• Partially, this is because I no longer believe in war. In any circumstance.
• I don't even think I believe in force anymore.
• If I believed in the use of force to stop bad people, I think I would vote for Dubya again, if given the chance.
  
• He believes that power should be used to protect people.
• I do not.
  
• I don't know how they could have gotten rid of Saddam Hussein without war, let alone some sort of force. That man did many evil things in order to keep his own power. You could say he forced the issue. Ha ha.
  
• Maybe a Brechtian puppet show would have worked. Next time let's give that a shot.
• I do not think that would work.
  
• I don't know how non-violence works on psychopaths. If it does at all.
  
• I think non-violent solutions are right whether they work or not.
• I think anything right is right whether it works or not.
• This is my definition of an extreme rightist.
• A extreme leftist believes that only things that work are right.
  
• I don't know if Saddam Hussein was a psychopath. I think he wasn't. I think he was just a plain old normal selfish person who got his way a lot more than I do.
  
• An American unconcerned with efficacy? What will they they think of next?

List Part III: Who I Will Vote For.

• I am not planning on voting for any of the major three candidates for president in November. (Nor October via absentee ballot. Nor December via being a Supreme Court Justice. Ha ha. Perhaps in January as part of the Supreme Court Justice League's time travel division. Ok, that would technically be November, so that's a possibility, I guess.)
  
• I am excited about this election.
• Two men walk into a bar wearing two-man donkey suit. The one behind says, "You keep trying to get ahead, slow down." The one in front says, "Quit being a butt."
  
• That was not a joke. Rather, a personal political statement. The one in back really was being a butt.
  
• I am excited about this election for the same reasons the Democratics and Republicanites are scared of it: the possibility of chaos at the conventions: The HILLARY vs. OBAMA quagmire. MCCAIN vs. all the RON PAUL people who went to the trouble of going to the state conventions. That seems like a real political process where people was similar things, but disagree on the how of the thing. But as for after the conventions? I am barely interested.
• Candidates for president are always allcaps.
  
• I wonder, but have no answers for why when BUSH the II ran, the lists listed him as BUSH. But when CLINTON the II runs, she is HILLARY.
  
• I am not planning on voting for anyone. Primarily because I do not believe that power is the method by which change happens. I wish this wasn't a joke.
• Change happens when people change.
• Most people do not want change.
  
• Most people, even revolutionaries want the status quo. But only if they get to run it.
  
• Two men walk into a bar in an elephant suit. The one in back says, "You keep trying to get ahead, slow down." The one in front says, "At least I'm not a communist."
  
• This, also, is not a joke. Rather, a personal political statement. The one in back really was a communist.
  
• Well, anarcho-socialist. But who can tell the difference anymore?
• Ok, technically, just a Brechtian. But only because theatre pays the bills..
• I don't think "Brechtian" is a noun.
  
• I don't plan on voting for CLINTON the II. I don't think she'll be around for to be voting in November anyhow. Plus, I don't trust her. Call me a biased ex-Republican if you want.
• I don't plan on voting for OBAMA. I do trust him. Call me a biased ex-Republican if you want. This is nitpicking, but he recently said that America is the world's last best hope. I do not believe this. I see people hoping in OBAMA as president more than the others. I don't know if hoping in a guy is good. I think hope is good. Maybe that'll be good. Doesn't mean I'm voting for him, though.
• I don't plan on voting for MCCAIN. I don't trust him. Seems more interested in power than policy. I would want to vote for someone who believed more than politicked. Two years ago, he almost defected to the Democratics. I could care less if he did. His voting record seems a little more AMERICAN LEFT than AMERICAN RIGHT. But to do so, or not do so as a political manoeuvre? Meh, says I.
• The AMERICAN LEFT and AMERICAN RIGHT do not believe they believe the same things. I agree and believe they do not believe the same things. But I do believe they practice the same things to the point that, to an outsider, there is no discernible difference.
• The way things are going, I am planning on writing in JESUS for President. I don't think he's going to win. He doesn't test well in the young urban professional demographic (not sure they even think he's real), and his PR people have really dropped the ball over the last 6800 quarters or so. Crosses on shields, indeed.
• I don't mean White Jesus. No sashes.
• Whoever thought that a first-century middle-eastern philosopher looked more like Val Kilmar after a summer at the beach than Osama bin Ladin should be shot.
• Or, uh, shown a Brechtian puppet show.
  

List Part IV: General Politics.

• I still believe that government can be an effective way of organizing people.
• I do not believe that any governments have been very effective for very long.
• Maybe they have never been effective.
• For some reason I am still hopeful.
• Some days, I don't believe anything has ever worked, that everything is a failure.
• This is probably true.
• Most days I think everything I do is a failure.
• I don't know how that works with the concept of imago dei, which I also believe.
• Ah-ah.
  
• I believe in small government. I'm close to libertarian if you have to define me.
  
• Quit defining me.
  
• I don't think I'm an anarchist. I don't know why. It seems almost closer to what I think than libertarianism. Maybe I think people should organize for safety. I would like this to be true.
• Maybe it's that I still want decent roads, dangit, and don't want to pay some company for it.
• I don't trust companies any more than I trust governments.
• I don't trust any groups of people.
• I don't trust people.
• Two anarchists walk into a bar. Because they wanted to. Ow, though.
• Also, clean water would be nice.
• And laws against slavery and such.
• How to enforce without force, though . . .
• A good law is sometimes all an oppressed person needs.
• A good swift kick in the pants is sometimes all a snotty person needs.
• My Facebook political views say I am not interested in power.
• I am interested in power.
• I do not want to be.

List Part V: The Undiscovered Country.

• Who says it has to be death?
  
• Shakespeare? What did he know?

List Part VI: In Conclusion.

• In a series of articles beginning here, that is not yet finished, Zack Exley says that Christians need to go beyond love on the small scale, and can organize to love on the big scale. That large organization does not necessarily mean failure. I don't know if I believe him yet.
• In light of that, I would like to define my politics as loving the people I see better than I love myself, and trying to see as many people as possible.
  
• I do not live what I believe about politics.
• Does anyone live what they believe?
• Is everyone a failure?
• Likely.
  
• I believe that anything that can go wrong, will.
• I also believe that anything that can go right, can, sometimes.
• So yeah, I still have hope.
• I believe in hope.
• Um, JESUS for President!