You know how sometimes when you're driving, and you zone out and forget that you're driving, and blank out for a mile or so, and then get really scared that you could have totally just ran over a small child or a kitten in that blank-out time and you wouldn't have even known it? Getting in the groove for writing is like that. Only, there is little worry of smearing a kitten across a hundred yards of blacktop.
Actually, there is little worry of that in most zone-out situations. Like, while intently playing Jordan on Expert in Guitar Hero II, or reading a really good book, or waiting for the person on the other end of the phone to restart their computer while she goes on and on about not wanting to cancel her son's AOL screen name because it's the same as his legal name which is really good, right?
The problem with writing here at work is that when I'm not on a call, I could get a call at any time. So, as I write when not on a call, my brain pokes at me at inconsistent intervals because I could get interrupted at any time. So, concentrating is hard. Then, when I'm writing while on a call, I have trouble because, well, I am supposed to be paying some sort of attention to the person on the other end of the line. But given the nature of the software we work with, after about 20 seconds I can flip the auto-technician switch and walk them through our configuration utility without a second thought, then sending them on their merry jigging way, all the while laughing and playing a light and airy tune on the fife.
Or maybe that doesn't happen.
Oh, but it should.
But the writing isn't the problem, it's the revision. Now, I love revision. Getting in and stripping out the passive voice. Recreating stale observations into clever ones. Fixing grammar and spelling mistakes. Rewording obtuse sentences. Obliterating extraneous adverbs. A'that. But that requires even more concentration. And let's not get into the amount of concentration that fiction requires over blogging. Absurdity, sir, absurdity. [I mean, It's Saturday night at 10, and I'm going back and fixing spelling and grammar mistakes that I missed on Friday.]
So, in light of this problem, and given the time I have left before I leave today, I shall now foray into that other successful blog tactic: a bullet list of tips and tricks. So here we go!
Tips of the week:
When you have a new computer, and your job requires a particular piece of software, and the makers of that software recommend you configure your computer in a particular way to use it, CONFIGURE YOUR COMPUTER IN THE RECOMMENDED FASHION BEFORE YOU CALL TECHNICAL SUPPORT. Underline, underline, bold, italic, highlight, burn into flesh with fiery brand, carve into ancient granite monument.
Drink at least eight 8 oz. glasses of water a day and you will pee a lot.
Your favorite band = someone else's band they always thumbs-down on Pandora.
Don't chew gum and set off nuclear missiles at the same time. That's just awkward for everybody.
Aaaaaannd, that's six. I'm off. Have some good weekend.
3 comments:
indeed. much improved because of doby. he's almost always helpful like that.
did you know i'm coming to see you?
Sweet blog man.
Punkinseed is staring at me after we've just read all seven blogs in about 40 minutes and asking "what did we like about it?".
We liked the rating list, the caffeine addiction (Punkinseed says "you shouldn't have a caffeine addiction") We liked reading about you teaching, we liked the part about frodo jigging, we like The Office, we like puppies and some of us like kitties (not Punkinseed, though), we like long walks anywhere but on the beach, we like bugs for squashing, we like balders gate, we like pizza...wait, what was this list about? Oh right, we liked it - the blog that is. And we will read it forever. And we like racing tacos.
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